Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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