Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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