Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
