We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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