i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
