I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
