Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
