Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
