If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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