i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
