A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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