Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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