she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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