You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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