if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
