The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
