I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
