I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
