I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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