I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
