My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
