Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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