i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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