actually, I'm a sock model
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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