i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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