hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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