Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
