he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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