i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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