she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
