my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
