no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
