my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
