Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
