Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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