i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
