just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
