i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
