physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
