Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
