i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
