What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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