Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
