At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
His hands were made for my vagina.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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