rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
