just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
