I skipped work to stalk him.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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