i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
