Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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