I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
