He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
