hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Randomize
