She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
