that's an acceptable place to lick
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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