So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
